Shake it off, Taylor Swift says…

Taylor Swift posted a most interesting thing on Instagram to one of her fans, who was being bullied for being different…

“Hannahhhh…Reading this made me so sad because I love seeing you in your videos and photos being so happy and wide eyed, like the world isn’t as harsh and unfair as it actually is. I hate thinking about your pretty face covered in tears, but I’ve been in your place. This isn’t a high school thing or an age thing. It’s a people thing. A life thing. It doesn’t stop. It doesn’t end or change.People cut other people down for entertainment because, amusement, out of jealousy, because of something broken inside them, or for no reason at all. It’s just what they do, and you’re a target because you live your life loudly and boldly. You’re bright and joyful and so many people are cynical. They won’t understand you and they won’t understand me. But the only way they win is if your turn your tears to stone and make you bitter like them. It’s okay to ask why. It’s okay to wonder how you could try so hard and still get stomped all over. Just don’t let them change you or stop you from singing or dancing around to your favorite song. You’re going into high school this week and this is your chance to hit the reset button on how much value you give the opinions of these kids, most of whom have NO idea who they are. I’m so proud of you and protective of you because you DO. If they don’t like you for being yourself, be yourself even more. Every time someone picks on me, I’ll think of you in hopes that every time someone picks on you, you’ll think of mee…and how we have this thread that connects us. Let them keep living in the darkness and we’ll keep waking up in the sunlight. Forever on your side, Taylor.”

She’s got a point. People alienate those who are different, not because they’re bad, or wrong, but because they can’t relate or understand! At the end of the day, who cares what other people think? We are in charge of our own destiny, and the time to act is now!

I suggest you watch her hilariously different video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nfWlot6h_JM

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The one is a myth

Hi there readers!

I read this article just now, and it really made me think about this “The One” phenomenon.

Particularly here:

Dozens of men will walk into your life. Some will only be there for a day, some will be there a few months, and others for a few years if you’re lucky. The trouble is, when you spend your whole life chasing “the one” you’re not experiencing the present moment.

It’s true. Like walking on the streets of a city with 6 million people, happens all the time. And living in the present is so, so important.

Every date becomes like a life-threatening event. There’s so much pressure and frustration I’m not surprised so many women struggle to find anyone special.

I think dating is such an exciting time. There were definitely ups and downs, and unavoidable disaster first-dates, but enjoying them for what they were – simply a way to connect with another human being, really helped me think of the other person as a valuable person worthy of my time, even if we didn’t exactly click right away!

Open up to the possibilities and opportunities the universe hands us every single day. If nothing else, you start enjoying life more, and that’s what it’s all about.

Gratitude. It’s a way of life! Ultimately of course, we do pick One guy to be with, if we decided to get married. So there’s the One. But it is a choice, upheld by two, and sustained by parties involved.

50 Shades? No thanks. I’d rather set my hair on fire

Well folks, now that the fifty shades of grey trailer is out, and I’m totally depressed about the state of affairs over there…

 

I thought I will mention MY favorite movie of the summer, maybe the year…unsurprisingly, it is the second movie of the director John Carney, who directed my other favorite, “Once”.

“Begin Again” was formerly titled “Can Music Save Your Life?”, and it is understated, charming, and what happens when a director decides he’s going to use a video camera, and follow around Keira Knightley, Mark Ruffalo and Adam Levine in a thoroughly enjoyable journey through NYC. It was a special perk of the movie to see all those wonderful neighbourhoods and snippets of city life. But aside from the obvious Valentine to NYC (which alone is worth watching), the story is a really sweet one.

Greta is a heartbroken singer-songwriter, who meets Dan, an equally sad and broken music producer. Together they decide to produce an album that integrates the spirit of NYC. In doing so they find themselves, and a renewed sense of purpose that transpires into the rest of the relationships that proceed to blossom. What I liked about it is that Dan is able to connect again with the world, because of music. And redeems himself to his daughter and family through it.

You’ll have to watch it to find out exactly what I’m talking about.

Greta’s relationship is also very un-hollywood, and the whole movie isn’t some fairytale that’s unattainable, but it feels real. In the trailer you’ll see, she is betrayed by the boyfriend, and has to pick up the pieces, finding her voice (literally) and her own self-worth.

I especially enjoyed the little shout-out to modesty for girls, when Greta talks to Dan’s daughter.

Ok, now you have to check out the trailer…

and if you need proof Knightley can sing:

I have the soundtrack pretty much on loop at work. What a beautiful surprise this movie was!

Not Everyone is Beautiful.

I really liked this Huffington post article:

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/nathan-biberdorf/not-everyone-is-beautiful_b_5554940.html?ncid=fcbklnkushpmg00000046

Particularly:

I want to tell you something, whoever you are. I don’t know if you’re beautiful, funny, smart, friendly, musical, caring, diligent, athletic, or if you make a mean crème brûlée. But I know this:

You are valuable.

You are interesting.

You are worth loving.

So forget about “beautiful.” It’s become an ugly word anyway.

Being beautiful should mean something, but it shouldn’t be the be-all and end-all of our lives. There’s just more to life than achieving symmetrical perfection of one’s face/body!

My life as a disposable partner

Oh Elle magazine. I usually only look to you for fashion…but today’s article hit me. 

http://www.elle.com/news/lifestyle/my-life-as-a-disposable-partner?src=spr_FBPAGE&spr_id=1448_71013400&linkId=8805546

Except the sobbing into gym socks. I’m not really a gym-going kinda gal. But it’s so true. There’s nothing worse than that feeling of being someone’s plan B, last resort, “my man’s away, so we can play” texts really sting. I’m not jealous, not for a moment. I’ve been trying to articulate the feeling. And it is exactly that disposable, unimportant feeling. That you’ve been friends for so long and suddenly cast aside. Suddenly your opinions don’t factor. And your best friend? She’s got a life now. As if to say, your life before wasn’t anything important. 

Hmm. Life is seasonal. I tell myself. And I enjoy the company of new friends. Until it happens again. Next time, it still hurts, but a little less. Because I’m a little bit older. 

 

 

#commodityculture: Rescuing our campuses from abortion, rape and porn

This seems like a really awesome event. As an undergrad, I was amazed to find how much we were encouraged to think about porn, sex during orientation, and at U of T there was even a sex education centre. I mean, perhaps in light of commodity culture, it is no big surprise. But really, people should be going to university to study. Bah. I guess it’s just the crazy in me thinking such a thing. 

It comes timely as well, as studies are rolling in to show that pornography has a detrimental effect on the human brain. That also seems to be a no-brainer *(pun intended haha) to me. There is serious psychological damage done by prolonged addiction or even casual use of pornography. 

One of the researchers, Dr. Kuhn, says: ‘Basically everything that people do very frequently can shape their brain structure and function’ she added. 

So I came out of the closet last month…

Before I let your imagination run away with you (as funny as that would be), perhaps I’ll clarify. I came out of the closet as a chaste single person (i.e. my version of dating which seems to resemble that of an 80 year old Amish grandma to these particular friends). I basically kind of dodged the questions previously, but finally, after one too many conversations which inevitably surrounded some sexual conquest or another, I thought, that’s it. Closet, I’m busting out!

Me: “My boyfriend and I are not going on vacation together. I will when I am married to my husband.”

Them: “What do you mean? Why? Doesn’t it build intimacy and your bond as a couple?”

Me: “Nope, we believe that amount of intimacy should be saved for our marriage. We aren’t involved…in that way.”

Them: “Wait, WHAT? Are you really saying what I think you’re saying??”

Me: “If you think it means we haven’t had sex yet, that’s what I’m saying!”

Cue long stunned pause, very wide eyes, expressions basically torn between fascination and horror.

Finally I said…”You have to tolerate my alternative lifestyle. I am allowed to live this way!” We laughed, at least acknowledging the ridiculous situation, where I’m the REBEL.

Them: “You’re like…a dying breed…Don’t you want to make sure you’re compatible…in that way though?”

Me: “Nope. We think if we love each other, we’ll work it out. I don’t need to test drive him. He’s not a car, I’m not a car, we are people and if we fit, it’ll work.”

Them: “What do you do??”

Me: “We date. Like Human People do!” Cue my moment as Elsa from Frozen. Yes I felt like the Ice Queen who was finally “letting it go”! My ideas clearly seemed as strange to them as suddenly building an Ice castle in the middle of nowhere…

It made me realize with dismay, that so much of secular relationships is based on the sexual context. Now I’m not saying sex is bad. Not by any means. We know from JPII and Theology of the Body that sex is sacred, and wholeheartedly good. But to have that consume your entire dating relationship, just seems completely reckless and flawed to me! To make the most important decision of one’s life, choosing a lifelong partner, I want a clear head and my reason and wits about me. It’s just good business sense. In a choice that will affect all future choices in a profound and lifelong way.