Rhianna the happy single girl

I’m very impressed with her recent interview, it really is quite admirable. What she says about casual sex and the empty unfulfilled nature of that, especially. Take that hookup culture!

Check it out:

These days, Rihanna isn’t playing the field or doing the casual sex thing: “If I wanted to I would completely do that. I am going to do what makes me feel happy, what I feel like doing. But that would be empty for me; that to me is a hollow move. I would wake up the next day feeling like shit. When you love somebody, that’s different. Even if you don’t love them per se, when you care enough about somebody and you know that they care about you, then you know they don’t disrespect you. And it’s about my own respect for myself.”

As for the guys:

“He has a great story and I’m like…what am I doing? I can’t do it to myself. I cannot. It has a little bit to do with fame and a lot to do with the woman that I am. And that saves me.”

Original story: http://www.elle.com/culture/celebrities/news/a31010/rihanna-vanity-fair-november-interview/?src=spr_FBPAGE&spr_id=1448_252305757

China’s efficiency

When I heard Justin Trudeau give that speech about China being admirable I was absolutely sick to my stomach. Not even kidding. My grandparents moved to Hong Kong to get away from the efficiency he praises so highly. I’m fairly sure my mom’s nine siblings would not exist today, my dad’s three siblings would not exist today, if we stayed in China. It’s as simple and horrifying as that. I’m grateful everyday, needless to say.

The globe and mail has an article about China that I think explains it all for me.


Particularly the forced abortions, sterilizations, hiding of children… As one of the parents put it:

“Isn’t giving birth a basic right?” Besides, she points out, neither Bill Gates, Warren Buffett – nor even Mao Zedong or current president Xi Jinping – were first-born children. “How many outstanding people were planned out of existence?” she asks.

Just a thought anytime anyone thinks China is environmentally responsible with their implementation of the one child policy. It comes at a great cost of individual freedom of their citizens.

“I love you, but choose our child, and I want a divorce.”

I’m just trying to picture this conversation between a husband and wife. Wife delivers baby, they discover baby Leo has down syndrome. And she gives husband an ultimatum, “choose to stay with me, or choose to leave with the baby”. She doesn’t even touch the baby after carrying him in her womb for nine months, and when the father decides that being a father is the most loving thing he can do in this situation, the wife leaves. AND files for divorce within a week.



It’s so confusing to me. What does marriage mean to people? In convenience and good health? For pleasure and riches? In ease and no pain? And the minute we hit an obstacle, it’s over? I hope she comes around (because life is long and we are all capable of great reformation and change through it), but her cold insistence and almost robotic lack of emotion indicates it is a permanent arrangement. What a crazy world.

But on the BRIGHT side, the internet chipped in, and in 2 weeks the dad fundraised $362,000.00 on crowdfund! At least he is affirmed in his love for his child by the world and the kindness of complete strangers. That is pretty beautiful.

A feminist against abortion

It is time someone wrote this!


Key points I liked:

–  Abortion betrays women by having us believe that we must become like men — that is, not pregnant — to achieve parity with them, professionally, socially, educationally.

– Many men today would prefer to dedicate far more time and attention to their children than fathers of prior generations did, or could.

-It is time to admit the truth about sexual difference — this beautiful, wondrous truth — and shape society to prioritize care for those who care for the most vulnerable.

Read the rest please: 

Kids are expensive, and I have nothing


This clip is so funny because he isn’t preachy or anything. He’s just awesome.

I love this comedian, Jim Gaffigan. Discussions in the workplace about family and kids inevitably lead to “how many kids?? That’s so expensive!” It’s a thought I guess that is quite normal now. But I’m not so sure that this should deter you because of how much you gain through the nothing that gives you…everything you need.


So I volunteer at a local hospital. My job is just to comfort sad parents.

Interestingly, I got to talking to a teen mom. Poor thing, she just gave birth recently to a baby who was actually due months later! She told me her parents were really mad at her, and that they thought her life was basically over. Same old same old. It never ceases to amaze me the human capacity to be paralyzed by fear. That’s what struck me about her parents. So afraid of what they had no guarantee for, yet so certain of that fear. Life is what we make it to be. And if you choose fear, that’s what you’re going to see.

The mom delivered the baby because “this was my baby, and their grandchild”. And I told her, she really has nothing to worry about if having an adorable baby is the worst thing in the world. And that her parents should worry about real life threatening situations. Like getting hit by a bus. Then it’ll really be over (potentially). 

I am not trying to minimize the enormity of the task ahead, but I am questioning the fear approach of embracing change. It just doesn’t strike me as productive, or supportive. By contrast this mom has had to take charge of this life change against the will of her parents, and wait for them to grow up. And yesterday, they visited their grandbaby in the hospital. The first step of many, I hope.